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Claire de Castelbajac: Youth in search of holiness

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castelbajac.pl

Dariusz Dudec - published on 12/02/24

Claire de Castelbajac was a young French woman fascinated by art. After a crisis of faith during her studies, she found God and, consequently, deep joy.

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Claire de Castelbajac was born in Paris on October 26, 1953. She had four much older siblings from her father Louis’ first marriage (he had been widowed): John (24), Laurence (22), Pauline (19), and Anna (15). Despite the large age difference, they immediately loved their youngest sister, who was born to their dad’s second wife, Solange Rambaud.

Louis de Castelbajac worked as a bank manager in Rabat, Morocco, where Claire spent the first years of her life. After returning to France, they settled in a huge estate in Lauret.

Amidst nature, farm animals, and horses, young Claire flourished, developing artistically, academically, and spiritually. Her childhood dream became … holiness.

Klara de Castelbajac w stroju pierwszokomunijnym
Claire de Castelbajac in her First Communion dress

This is how she talked about it with her father: 

– Do you know, Dad, what I want to be when I grow up?
– Yes, I think I can guess. You want to be a nun.
– No, it’s something more.
– Well, I don’t know …
– Well, I want to be a saint! It’s more than being a nun, isn’t it …?

Due to poor health and recurring digestive and respiratory problems, she studied at home. 

Going out into the world

Eventually, the time came for her homeschooling to end, and Claire began middle school at the Sacred Heart School in Toulouse. She then began high school, which she attended intermittently for health reasons. She completed her first year by correspondence, studying at home in Lauret. She used this time to help others, founding a children’s choir to sing for the elderly and disabled.

Klara de Castelbajac
Claire de Castelbajac

In a letter to her sister, she wrote: 

I saw that one does not live only for oneself, but for others, and that everyone is there to live for others and make them happy. It is monstrously difficult, but when you succeed, it’s something beautiful.

Due to back surgery and convalescence, Claire didn’t pass her high school final exams until September 1971. She then chose to major in art history in Toulouse. However, really she wanted to study historic preservation in Rome. After years spent in the safety of her hometown of Lauret, a new desire was awakening in her.

Roman freedom

This is how she wrote about her desires to one of her friends:

So I choose to be a hippie. I’ve always been attracted to it, ever since the word first appeared, through its quirky spelling and attractive sound. Imagine: free from all shackles. (…) And in this dream life, there would be no need to set an example, and on top of that, supposedly there is no hatred between hippies, because no one is worried about what their neighbor is doing, and the sun shines for everyone. Oh, to be able to live without being forbidden to do certain things under the pretext that it might shock someone! 

She hoped that communing with art would elevate her heart closer to God. Life in Rome, however, proved to be difficult. She didn’t have any friends there. Her new acquaintances turned out to be non-believers, and the young Frenchwoman’s faith didn’t fit into their lifestyle. However, Claire met two of her compatriots there, with whom she became friends.

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Unfortunately, student life, despite the girl’s efforts to remain faithful to God, slowly reduced her relationship with God to the shallows of mediocrity. “You’ll see, my poor girl, you’ll end up adopting our atheism. I don’t give you a year until you become like us,” she heard from one of her friends. It got to the point where Claire almost failed an entire year of study.

Breakthrough

The breakthrough came in September 1974, when Castelbajac went with a group of young people on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. It was there, wandering the earthly homeland of Jesus, that Claire returned to a peace-filled relationship with God. This is how she recalled that time:

My life completely changed in those three weeks: in addition to my closeness to the Holy Virgin, I discovered the love of God, immense, amazing and so simple. (…) Christian love is love of one’s neighbors, because God himself loves them. This, among other things, moves me with God’s joy.

Klara de Castelbajac podczas renowacji fresku św. Klary z Asyżu
Claire de Castelbajac during the restoration of the fresco of St. Clare of Assisi

After returning from the Holy Land, Claire was given an internship to restore the frescoes in the Basilica of St. Francis in Assisi. Among other things, she was responsible for restoring the image of her patron saint. The young Frenchwoman lived in the Benedictine monastery, prayed with the nuns, attended daily Mass, and read the works of St. Charles de Foucauld. After finishing her apprenticeship, Claire returned home full of quiet joy.

The death of Claire de Castelbajac

“I am so happy that if I were to die now, I’d go straight to heaven, because heaven is the glory of God and I am already in it,” Claire told her mother a few days before the onset of severe meningitis. 

During vacation, she went to Lourdes with her parents and a friend. Claire was very fond of the place and of praying at Mary’s grotto. Her mother noticed that during the longer-than-usual prayer something changed in her daughter’s face; something happened between her and Mary.

A few days later, the girl fell ill. At first it was thought to be a simple flu. However, the diagnosis turned out to be much more serious: meningitis. Claire was hospitalized and slowly slipped into a coma. A few days before she died, a parish priest from Lauret came to visit her. The girl met him and asked for Communion, imploring him, “Please bring it me, please bring it me! I must adore Him!”, after which she lost consciousness again.

Klara de Castebajac z gołębiem
Claire de Castebajac with a dove

She woke up for the last time on Sunday, January 19. She said very loudly: “Hail Mary, full of grace.” Her mother continued to pray, and Claire encouraged her with the words: “keep going … keep going …” She died on January 22, 1975.

Her beatification process began in 1985, and in 2016 the positio, a document showing how Claire lived the Christian virtues on a daily basis, was completed.

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