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MEDITATION of the day

Following Jesus When He Withdraws

Some days in prayer God may seem as though never to leave, and then, without warning, the shadows sweep in like a thick fog over a coastland, brushing against one’s soul, confusing it. And yet the desire to continue praying can remain, strong and resolute. This determination not to depart from prayer surely confirms that God has not at all left our company. He simply hides in the cover and haze that now obscures him from view….

The inclination to hiddenness is a quiet mark of holiness. It corresponds to the secrecy of relations between a soul and God. For it seems to be God’s consistent habit with souls to conceal himself even when they are close to him. We can surmise that the saints came to know well this divine preference for concealment. It added intensity to their seeking after God in his many disguises. Rather than frustrating them, the divine hiding provoked them with intense longings. And it aroused in them a desire for their own concealment, not from God but from the eyes of others, so that they might remain among the unknown and the unrecognized. If we want to find holiness, the first place to search is in the shadows and corners.

The chance to savor God’s hidden presence in the Eucharist for the quiet privilege alone—leaving behind the noise of streets at an unplanned hour, entering the subdued hush behind a closing church door, kneeling in the shadows before a lit red lamp and the tabernacle—the sudden desire to be near God in an empty church may be an anticipation of deeper longings in prayer.

Father Donald Haggerty

Father Haggerty, a priest of the Archdiocese of New York, is currently serving at Saint Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City. / From Contemplative Provocations. © 2013, Ignatius Press, San Francisco, CA. www.ignatius.com. Used with permission.