Support and hope for Catholic dads who have lost a child

Every 10 minutes in the U.S., a parent loses a child, and this devastating loss changes the family forever. Yet a father’s grief is often pushed to the background.  

Several Catholic fathers who have lost a child wrote a book to offer other dads support, spiritual guidance, and companionship through grief.

The Grief of Dads: Support and Hope for Catholic Fathers Navigating Child Loss is an important resource to help dads know that they are not alone and to help them work through loss and the upheaval of deep grieving with help from men who have been there.

Authors Patrick O’Hearn and Bryan Feger, along with Ryan Breaux of Red Bird Ministries — an organization that guides individuals and couples through the trauma of losing a child — sought to normalize conversations about men’s grief through their book:

Drawing on the richness of the Catholic faith, they offer stories from the men in the Bible and from male saints who knew the pain of losing a child and yet found hope and healing in God. The authors share their own stories and the experiences of seven other fathers who lean on their faith and seek healing with help from the sacraments, the Bible, fellow Catholics, and the devotional practices of the Church.

The book includes resource lists, journaling space, prayers, spiritual reflections, and letters of spiritual support, as well as guidance for friends, family, and pastors of grieving fathers. Kelly Breaux, cofounder and president of Red Bird Ministries, wrote a chapter for wives as well.

Here is our conversation with Patrick O’Hearn, co-author of The Grief of Dads.

Why is there a need for a book with a specific focus on fathers’ grief?

There are countless books on various topics within the Catholic space, yet my co-authors and I have never encountered one written specifically for Catholic fathers who have experienced child loss at any stage. This book was born from our own need for guidance in navigating our pain and suffering.

Fathers of child loss are often overlooked, but this book exists to remind them that they are not alone. We see them. 

More importantly, God sees them and desires to pour out His grace, offering them the tools to find healing and hope in the midst of this profound suffering. Our prayer is that priests will recommend this book as well. 

What advice might you give to a grieving dad?  

Grieve alongside your wife and allow her to see your tears — your sorrow is not a burden but a shared journey. 

Be honest with God in prayer, bringing Him your pain, questions, and even your anger. 

Lastly, seek out other men who have endured child loss; their support can help you carry this heaviest of crosses.  

What is the most important thing you would want people to know about your book?

Losing a child is the deepest sorrow a parent can endure, one that can shake the very foundation of a marriage. Hence this book is needed more than ever to help our fathers of child loss find healing and hope. 

Those dads of grief who read this book might feel as if St. Simon of Cyrene himself is offering hope and strength through its words. This book will help you carry your cross.

Read more:Helping children deal with loss and grief

Read more:Your anger is prayer, Pope assures grieving families

Read more:Pope Francis: ‘There is no word for a parent who loses a child’