Modern life often feels like a competition. From early childhood, kids are encouraged to stand out — excel in school, master extracurriculars, and build impressive résumés. Social media reinforces this drive, showcasing achievements while making comparison unavoidable. But while competition has its place, life is not ultimately about winning — it is about belonging.
For most of human history, people measured success not by personal accomplishments but by their contributions to a greater whole. Families, villages, and religious communities provided meaning and support. Today, however, the focus has shifted inward. We emphasize individual achievement over shared purpose, self-expression over self-sacrifice.
While this change has brought new freedoms, it has also made it harder to cultivate values like kindness, generosity, and responsibility — qualities that children need to thrive.
Teaching kids that they belong
Children develop character not in isolation but through relationships. They need to feel that they are part of something bigger than themselves — whether that is their family, their school, or their community. When kids understand that they belong, they naturally become more thoughtful toward others.
One of the simplest ways to instill this sense of belonging is through shared family traditions. Eating dinner together, praying as a family, celebrating birthdays in a meaningful way — these rituals give children a foundation of stability.
As Pope Francis wrote in Amoris Laetitia, “A person learns to be truly human within the context of a family” (AL 277). In other words, kindness is not taught through abstract lessons but through everyday interactions in a loving home.
Balancing achievement and generosity
It is natural for parents to want their children to succeed. Hard work and excellence are good things. But if achievement becomes the sole focus, kids may begin to see others as rivals rather than as people to help and support. One way to prevent this mindset is to balance personal goals with acts of service.
Encouraging children to help siblings with homework, take part in household chores, or volunteer at church teaches them that success is not just about personal gain but about lifting others up. Even simple actions — writing a thank-you note to a teacher, helping a younger child on the playground — reinforce the idea that we are not meant to live only for ourselves.
The role of technology in shaping character
Technology is often seen as a distraction, but it can also be a tool for teaching kindness. Parental controls and screen-time limits are important, but so is guiding children in how they use digital spaces. Instead of merely restricting social media, parents can help kids use it to encourage others — sending supportive messages, sharing uplifting stories, or even using apps to organize acts of service.
At the same time, children need to experience real-world connections. Face-to-face interactions — greeting a neighbor, making eye contact, speaking with respect — help them develop empathy in ways that digital communication cannot.
The Catechism reminds us that human beings are social by nature: “The human person needs to live in society. Society is not for him an extraneous addition but a requirement of his nature” (CCC 1879). By fostering in-person relationships, we teach children to value people over screens, presence over performance.
Kindness as a lifelong strength
In a culture that prioritizes self-promotion, raising kind kids is countercultural. But kindness is not weakness. It requires courage, patience, and the ability to put others first. When children learn to see life not as a race to be won but as a shared journey, they grow into adults who contribute to their families, workplaces, and communities in meaningful ways.
By helping kids develop a deep sense of belonging, balancing achievement with service, and guiding them in the healthy use of technology, we prepare them not just to compete — but to live well.
And today we celebrate...