Pornography is not sexuality. So says a guide (in Spanish) that is being distributed throughout a chain of Catholic schools in Spain. To explain why porn doesn’t fit into healthy sexuality, it indicates many differences which can help us to make the right choice for the right reasons.
Here are seven of the major contrasts it highlights between sexuality and pornography:
1
Sexuality is about an “us”
Pornography is about “me,” without a “you.”
Experts explain that pornography represents a narcissistic way of experiencing sexual pleasure, in which only the pleasure I achieve is important. No thought is given to the well-being of another person. In addition, the man is often more important than the woman in pornography.
2
Sexuality is intimate, pornography is public
Intimacy allows us to share what is deepest in each other and thus to be responsible for each other. But pornography exhibits, tramples, and makes explicit in a morbid way.
3
Sexuality is warm, pornography is cold
Porn represents sex without affection, without human warmth, caresses, love, tenderness, affection, emotions, or gestures of connection with the other.
4
Sexuality is a shared experience, pornography is a consumer product
Porn turns sex into an object to be bought or consumed and used for money or pleasure. Sexuality, on the other hand, is a shared experience.
5
Sexuality connects, pornography disconnects
Sexuality implies closeness, union, and connection with the person. Pornography, on the other hand, distances us from ourselves and disconnects us from others.
6
Sexuality involves the whole person; pornography, only a part of it
Pornography is based only on the genitals and neglects the rest of the body and the whole of the person. It prevents us from relating in a sexually fulfilling way with the other.
7
Pornography is failed eroticism
Sexual relations require a climate, an environment, a space, a rhythm that the two people who experience it establish. Pornography is a fast, compulsive sexuality, without communication or reciprocity.
~
Why do teens watch pornography?
Pornographic websites receive 115 million visits per day. What can lead an adolescent to seek out pornography? The guide points out 6 possible motivations:
1
Boredom
Without a specific interest (such as a hobby), without socializing, or with difficulties in managing free time, it’s easier to fall into pornography.
2
Pleasure, curiosity, and information
The internet offers an easy way to learn and find answers about our sexuality … but careful as these “answers” are not necessarily the best ones, or even true.
3
Emotional management (distraction or avoidance)
Porn can be used to manage emotions such as anger, sadness, or fear.
4
Stress management
It is possible to use porn as an easy way of relief or discharge of stress and tensions, but that can lead to a dependency for anxiety regulation.
5
Lack of connection on an affective level in real life
Pornography can appear as a form of virtual closeness to another human being.
6
Peer acceptance
Sometimes people access pornography to be part of a group, to be liked by others, or to feel accepted.
However, in the end pornography impacts academic performance, because it affects attention span, working memory, sleep, and organizational and planning skills.
It also impacts emotional and sexual relationships. It can favor risky sexual behaviors, is related to infidelity, affects self-esteem, can produce sexual dysfunctions, and diminishes the capacity for empathy.
