While much emphasis is put on St. Monica’s persistent prayers for her son, St. Augustine, she also had to overcome suffering she experienced in her marriage.
As the Catholic Encyclopedia explains, “She was married early in life to Patritius, who held an official position in Tagaste. He was a pagan, though like so many at that period, his religion was no more than a name; his temper was violent and he appears to have been of dissolute habits. Consequently Monica’s married life was far from being a happy one, more especially as Patritius’s mother seems to have been of a like disposition with himself. There was of course a gulf between husband and wife; her almsdeeds and her habits of prayer annoyed him, but it is said that he always held her in a sort of reverence.”
What’s interesting is how this suffering led her to minister to other wives and mothers who were in similar situations.
Helping those in difficult marraiges
St. Monica was able to persevere in her faith, despite the persecution she received from her own husband. This allowed her the ability to be an example to other women in the community and to comfort them when marriages went sour:
Monica was not the only matron of Tagaste whose married life was unhappy, but, by her sweetness and patience, she was able to exercise a veritable apostolate amongst the wives and mothers of her native town; they knew that she suffered as they did, and her words and example had a proportionate effect.
St. Augustine wrote in his Confessions about how she would inspire others by simple conversation and those who talked with her would leave feeling comforted:
She was also the servant of Your servants. Whosoever of them knew her, did in her much magnify, honor, and love You; for that through the testimony of the fruits of a holy conversation, they perceived You to be present in her heart. For she had been the wife of one man, had requited her parents, had guided her house piously, was well-reported of for good works, had brought up children, as often travailing in birth of them Galatians 4:19 as she saw them swerving from You. Lastly, to all of us, O Lord (since of Your favour Thou sufferest Your servants to speak), who, before her sleeping in You, lived associated together, having received the grace of Your baptism, did she devote, care such as she might if she had been mother of us all; served us as if she had been child of all.
It is not surprising that St. Monica is the patron saint of difficult marriages, and remains a powerful saint to turn to in times of need.
And today we celebrate...