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A common issue many parents face today is to be the perfect instagram-approved parent. Well, before continuing, it’s important to remember that there’s no such thing as a perfect parent. And instead of striving for perfection, it’s more important to try and be the best parent you can possibly be, while remaining sane!
With this in mind we need to consider our limitations, especially if you have a number of children who are all making demands on you, reasonable or not, at the same time.
In fact there have been occasions while raising my four kids that I thought if any of them asked, or needed, one more thing from me I’d explode. There were also times that I felt I’d failed them as a mother — those occasions when they hadn’t eaten sensibly as I hadn’t enough time, or they’d watched too much television as I had a project to finish.
When talking to my mother about this sense of failure she shared some advice her own mother had given her: “Choose your battles.”
It is totally impossible to do everything perfectly. There are times that you can give 100 percent to your kids, and that is great, make the most of them. However, there are also times when you have to let go of being a wonderful mom or dad in order to fulfill something else which is more pressing at the time.
After all, if you get fired for not doing your job properly then you’ll have an even bigger battle in trying to get food on the table for your kids.
A go-to mantra
It is a sort of mantra that I look to while parenting when I feel pulled in all directions. I choose my battles, I prioritize, and I don’t beat myself up for the things I’ve had to let slide by.
Furthermore, remember that sometimes you might not be able to deal with a situation in the here and now, but you might be able to return to it when you’re feeling more energized.
A great example of this is when you don’t have the strength to cope with fighting teens, but the next day, when you’ve calmed down and had time to sleep, you can address the issue with your wayward teens.
And finally, if you do feel you’re failing your kids, or that you’re not the perfect parent, look to the Holy Family. We can’t imagine the anguish Mary and Joseph must have been through when Jesus decided to go off to the temple at 12 years of age for three days without telling his parents!
