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How can you recharge your batteries when you’re a mother caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life? Whether you work outside the home or not, whether you have one, two, five, or seven children, a mother’s daily life is intense and tiring.
Not forgetting yourself and taking care of yourself is an imperative, but one that’s not always easy to put into practice. Aleteia talked to a number of mothers about how they recharge their batteries.
1
Bring flowers into your home
Our eyes, which constantly see the pile of dirty laundry or the badly cleared breakfast table, also have the right to see beautiful things! It’s the simple experience of receiving or buying flowers and taking pleasure in arranging them. Along with the act of putting flowers in your home, there’s also the joy of watching them bloom every day. It’s about making your house a beautiful and soothing place.
“When I put a bouquet in the living room,” says Claire, “I remind my children about it every day, so that they can observe, smell, and admire it. It’s a small gesture that pleases me, but it’s also a way of opening our eyes to beauty!”
2
Learn something new
Choosing new activities for yourself is also a great source of rejuvenation. Cultural outings, tennis or painting lessons… Whether it’s a question of rekindling a passion or discovering something new, learning or improving your skills and knowledge allows you to put aside your mental load and worries, and concentrate on a single activity.
This is Sophie’s experience. She started taking piano lessons the same year her children took up music. “What a joy it is to sit down at the piano and think of nothing but the notes and the piece I’m trying to decipher! My hands work and my mind frees itself. It’s a bubble I give myself, which is a kind of work that soothes me!”
3
Pray with other mothers
Have you heard of Mothers Prayers? Created in England in the 1990s and now present in over a hundred countries around the world, this ecumenical movement invites mothers to get together in small groups every week to pray for their children.
Blandine is expecting her eighth child, and for over 10 years now she has faithfully attended a local group of this organization. “This opportunity to place my children before God allows me to reposition myself as a mother,” she explains. “These children are entrusted to me, and I do my best, but not everything rests on my shoulders. They’re in God’s hands. This is a source of support and great consolation in the midst of the thousand questions we ask ourselves every day about what we’re doing right or wrong with them!”
4
Go for a walk
When you’re up to your neck in baby bottles or helping your kids with homework, physical exercise and reconnecting with nature are an excellent way to recharge your batteries. A walk, even a short one, helps you breathe and clear your head. And when you’re out and about with friends, it’s easier to stay motivated!
Florence lives near the water and has five children. Every week, she meets up with a few friends for an hour-long walk on the beach. “Basically, we put on a swimsuit and walk in the water,” she explains. “It’s great to be out in the sea, under the sky, chatting and getting active! You come away energized for the whole week!”
5
Go on a day of retreat
Check to see if there are special mornings or days of retreat for mothers near you. They might take place either during the week or on weekends. This time for oneself often includes teaching, Mass, and lunch. Sometimes there’s also the opportunity for confession or time for a quiet walk. Some places have a babysitter on-site.
Crystal, who is the mother of two boys, goes whenever her teaching job allows. “Everything is planned for moms. It’s very relaxing and really rejuvenating!”
6
Take time to read
Smartphones and soap operas can monopolize our free time, but nothing can replace the benefits of reading! “When I need a break and can’t get away to town for brunch,” says Anne, mother of four, “I bury myself in my book. If need be, I’ll read it in the bath, so that no one comes to disturb me!”
For moms who find it hard to let go of their phone, here’s a tip: keep the phone out of your bedroom, so you’re not tempted to waste an hour on it when you go to bed! Instead, buy an alarm clock and put a novel recommended by a friend on the bedside table.
7
Get together with friends
For a very effective dose of rest and relaxation, there’s nothing like organizing a dinner, a coffee, or an evening out with friends — regularly if possible. When we’re with friends, we understand each other, we laugh, and we support each other. These breaks are very important in the fast-paced daily lives of moms.
“From time to time,” adds Mary, a mother of four, “we allow ourselves to take a whole day out with our girlfriends. And hearing my husband say, ‘I’ll take care of everything, just relax and enjoy,’ is an essential condition for my batteries to really recharge!”
8
TAKe PART IN A PILGRIMAGE WITH OTHER MOTHERS
Charlotte has six children and lives in Toulon, France, where she grew up. Whenever she can, she takes part in the annual mothers’ pilgrimage to Cotignac, and always comes back feeling recharged!
“Just going off with my girls, with my backpack, makes me rediscover the atmosphere of scouting, where we cultivate simplicity and personal growth,” she recounts. Smartphones are switched off, and comforts are spartan. “I remember a Rosary in which, with each decade, we would accentuate a different word of the Hail Mary, on which we would meditate.”
A pilgrimage combines physical effort, a break from everyday life, prayer, and conversations between moms. “These few days really bring us back to our vocation as women and mothers,” concludes Charlotte.”
Not every country has as many “official” pilgrimage locations as France. However, you could pick a parish or shrine in your area as your destination. Then, coordinate with other women to meet at a convenient distance from the church (according to the time available) to go the rest of the way walking.
9
Cultivate gratitude
Juliet has four children and a busy job in human resources. She’s been practicing gratitude for several years now. She explains that she has found it “an antidote to the lack of lightness and joy felt as a mother of young children.”
One way of doing this is to write down a pleasant memory in a notebook every day. Juliette, for her part, has chosen to use photos and Instagram to capture the little happy moments. Hot tea, playing with one of her kids, admiring flowers in the garden, a family meal without shouting or arguments… “It doesn’t change me radically, but I experience many benefits. I appreciate the little miracles of everyday life more consciously, and my senses are sharper. I’m able to focus my attention on what’s joyful. And I have the reflex to say ‘thank you’ for everything that’s beautiful in my daily life, even if it’s trivial or nearly imperceptible!”
10
Go to Eucharistic adoration
Cecile has three young children. Unable to sign up for a fixed adoration slot at her parish, she has chosen to drop in whenever she can. “When I’m saturated with the noise of my children and the insidious noise of my mental load, when I feel like I’m losing my strength, I take refuge in adoration,” she says. Why? “It’s the place par excellence for silence, inside and out. The place where nothing is asked of me. I’m just there and I know He’s with me. I lay down my burden, my fatigue, my questions. I let Him love me as I am.” The fruits of an hour of adoration? “Peace! I feel capable of loving again!”
And today we celebrate...