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Sleepy, emotional and sore, I gratefully accepted dinner and a dozen homemade muffins from a woman I had only met once before. I was two weeks postpartum with my first child, and the adrenaline of birth and newness was long gone. Adjusting to having a child after not having one was full of growing pains – both physical and emotional.
In the fog that was those days and weeks, the memory of those muffins has stayed strong. I remember crying tears of joy while eating them. It was just so helpful to have an easy and comforting snack that I could munch on through the day. I struggled with feeding myself and the baby, and didn’t realize how important it was for me to eat and consume enough calories while breastfeeding. But those muffins were just the ticket! My current go-to snack postpartum is trail mix, and I make sure I have enough on hand near delivery. But I will never forget those muffins!
Do you know a mom who is expecting? A mom who just adopted a baby? Reach out at the end of pregnancy if you can and help the new mom figure out what she needs. It’s hard to know what might be helpful, but over the years, I have seen moms ask for different things that help them the most. If you offer some of these as ideas, one or two might hit home.
The friendship train
Instead of a meal train, one of my friends asked for a friendship train. After her husband went back to work from paternity leave, she asked that people sign up to spend a couple of hours with her in the morning on weekdays along with a cup of coffee. She knew she had gotten overwhelmed and lonely in the past while postpartum, and came up with the friendship train idea. I think it is a beautiful gift to ask for in a world where real life connectedness is hard to find!
Older sibling adventure time
Does someone you know have other kids who could use an adventure while giving mom and/or dad a break? Offer to take kids to the park or out for ice cream some afternoon or evening. This way older kids get some extra attention and fun, while mom can spend a minute recuperating or getting other things done.
The gift of cleaning
Can you stop by and help fold some laundry or do some sweeping and vacuuming? One of my mom friends has a family with many food restrictions, so she asked that instead of meals, our community support her with some camaraderie and cleaning help. She offered dates that people could team up and come, one mom to help clean and one mom to help entertain all the children present.
Actual baby stuff
First time moms usually need some physical things to welcome a baby. If a mom you know isn’t having a baby shower, find a friend or two to at least go in something to help the mom feel prepared. Bottles and/or breastfeeding supplies, diapers, car seats and somewhere for the baby to sleep are usually the most essential things a mom needs. Strollers and a bouncy chair or high chair are also helpful bigger ticket items.
Moral support
Regardless of what a mom might ask for, every mom could use a check-in or two. Text or call to say hi, ask for pictures of the baby, and offer the support of friendship and love in conversation.
And if a mom claims that she is totally fine and doesn’t need anything, I can personally vouch for the “bring her a dozen homemade muffins” route. Whatever you do, reaching out and supporting moms you meet is a great way to help build a pro-life culture. Holy Family, pray for us!
