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Three jokes about religious life



Rachel Molinatti - published on 12/12/19

A Benedictine, a Dominican, a Franciscan and a Jesuit are on a spiritual retreat in the same place ...

Dominicans, Franciscans, Benedictines, Jesuits, Carmelites, Poor Clares … In the Church, there are countless religious orders and congregations. It is said that the Good Lord himself “is unable to know the exact number of female congregations on earth.” Each order has its own history, charism, traditions … and reputation, which can sometimes make you smile. Here, Aleteia offers you a selection of jokes about religious  life to bring a smile to your lips.

Let there be light

A Benedictine, a Dominican, a Franciscan and a Jesuit are on a spiritual retreat in the same place. Now, one stormy evening, while they’re praying the breviary together, all the lights in the room suddenly go out. The Benedictine continues his prayers, because he knows the psalms by heart. The Dominican embarks on a deep meditation on the influence of light on human piety, while the Franciscan kneels down and begs God’s forgiveness for humanity forgetting the ancient frugality of their ancestors, who were content with the natural light of oil lamps. Then, the light comes back on as suddenly as it had disappeared. The three religious see the Jesuit returning to the room.

“Where have you been?” they ask.

“In the cellar to reset the circuit-breaker.”

Mission and naivety

A missionary arrives in a village deep in the jungle just as the witch doctor begins to beat his drum furiously. Very intrigued, the missionary asks him what’s going on.

“We have no water,” he says.

So the missionary says, “And so you’re asking God to send rain?”

The witch doctor replies: “Don’t be silly! I’m signaling for the plumber to come!”

The difficulty of detachment

A Franciscan goes to the barber shop. When the job’s done, he asks how much he owes. The barber replies that clergy and religious get free service. The next morning, the barber finds a basket in front of his door containing a large, hot loaf of bread baked in the city’s Franciscan convent. A Trappist also arrives at the same barbershop. He also goes to pay, but the barber gives the same answer: he doesn’t charge monks. The next day, he finds in front of his door a box of cans of the famous beer brewed by the Trappists of the region. Finally, a Jesuit shows up, and once again, the barber refuses to be paid. The next day, he finds a line of Jesuits waiting in front of his door …

Jokes excerpted and translated from French, Les Perles du Curé, by Bruno Delaroche.

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